reblogged: monday, 29 october 2007

A balancing act

It's been two days and my toes are still swollen from Saturday night. Every time someone takes a step they are tittering 'on the brink of' catastrophe, I think it was.

About eleven years ago, my sister and I were at my cousin's house and we were standing outside by the neighbor's fence. My sister decided to semi-climb the fence so her arms were stretched out, hands tightly clenched to the wires, while her feet dangled below her. And then I remember the tears streaming down her face accompanied by her loud wails of pain. The only other person I can concretely recall being there is another cousin and the presence of other people blend into the background of my fading memory. And we asked and asked her what was wrong, only to be answered by her cries. Finally, someone pointed out her bloody toes, torn up the bottom ends of the fence. It turns out that when she placed all her weight onto the fence, her toes got caught on the sharply cut wires and they received no mercy from the metal incisors.

Even years later, the most vivid image of that experience that lingers in my mind is the pain I saw etched onto her face.

---------

Sometimes, I wonder about the seldom moments when I work 'so hard' despite the growing apathy. And then I remember; and this is why.

How do you tell someone this shouldn't go on anymore?

I would be happy being a food critic for the rest of my life.

Walking along the basement of Canaday library reminds me of one of those scenes from the horrors movies, where the lonesome virgin girl is peering above a shelf with her bespectacled glasses. And then slowly but surely a dark, shadowy figure looms behind her.

I'm pretty sure that I'm the only person down here at the moment. Creepy.


On another note, it's terrifying to see the scars decorate your arms.

Right, so I may be a partial duntz or a complete duntz.

In my sleep deprived state I just realized that the 'wiring' of plugs I made on my wall works.

The goal was to have two lights turn on independent on the third string of lights.  Except for the past month and a half, I've been under the assumption that the two lights only work if the third one is plugged in.  I wonder if I knew this before/wired the wires to work this way.

omgz complete duntz

DEAR ONLINE APPLICATIONS,

I HATE YOU.

KTHXBYE,

My room is messy

It feels as if I am floating on a plane of liminality.  Forever and ever, but only for a second, a minute or barely at all.  I started running again today and it felt sooo good to just burn, burn, burn away all the thoughts.